Hey Folks!

So i know i haven't blogged in a while, school and stuff really does hinder it. But hey life is life right. Well so here i am Logan gave me the morning off i need to study for my 20th century Europe test tomorrow (amazing class by the way). But yeah life is good. I started to get past the thing that kept me so angry and hurt this last year. im getting to the point of not really caring, which i think is the healthiest. My favorite person in the world was here for the weekend and i got to spend a bunch of time with him talking and just being. the same thoughts and jokes that go through his head also go through mine, weird thing is, is that he is generation older than me. I think we remind each other of ourselves. I really have a place with him where ever we are. he has a dream for me that is scary, but in reality that dream keeps creeping up on me. Yeah i don't know. i get to go home this weekend for about a week for Thanksgiving. I think its a bit ironic that my Dads family celebrates Thanksgiving, it kinda brings up harsh feelings for natives you would think but i think we like turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy too much to give up the tradition. So heres the thing i cant respect someones authority when they are forced into a position and they know that they probably cant handle it. there is a Elton John song that helps me explain it actually heres a lyric

Don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in

I cant not help but fight against it, its who i am if i didn't i wouldn't be me.

and who wouldn't want that?

go ahead and argue and we will see what comes of it.

yeah thats it

i'm on a private helicopter with my favorite ex-girlfriend
tiny little cabin in the sky
now we're alone and we can remember how we felt before we were angry:

we were guilty and we were bitter
(I must admit I said a few things, but...)

i'm still attracted to you
sorry we've been so cold, so
eight miles high and three hours to landing,
god, your hair smells really great

i'm on a hovercraft to Paris with my former best friend
we have to get to the cinematheque
we're not alone but no one speaks english, so we're free
to look into each other's minds
and see what we're thinking like we always used to

i miss talking to you
but you never draw me out so
cast off the ego scars and let's go hit the bars

i reserve the right to hold my grudges
friends like you, you know the rest
but all told, i hold on to my anger far too long
until it's a joke
the night is cold
the joke is old
(and poorly told, i told you once)

i'm on a private helicopter with my favorite ex-girlfriend,
no one to keep up appearances for
now we're alone and we can remember how we felt at first;
the desperate need to be together
must've been good for something, sugar

i'm still attracted to you
no one's making

yet another song...they are good songs shut up

There's just two ways to lose yourself in this life
And neither way is safe
In my dreams I see visions of the future
But today we have today
And where will I find You?

In the economy of mercy
I am a poor and begging man
In the currency of Grace
Is where my song begins
In the colors of Your goodness
In the scars that mark your skin
In the currency of Grace
Is where my song begins

These carbon shells
These fragile dusty frames
House canvases of souls
We are bruised and broken masterpieces
But we did not paint ourselves
And where will I find You?

Where was I when the world was made?
Where was I?

I'm lost without You here
Yes, I'm lost without You near me
I'm lost without You here
You knew my name when the world was made

Two in one night

Can you count all the things that I'm worried about
By the lines in my brow, I want to trust but don't know how
To rest and be still, to abandon myself to your will
And I can't figure out what my time in this world is about

And this time I don't have an answer
But don't think that I haven't tried
I still have the heart of a seeker
But I need the faith of a child
I need the faith of a child

I know Christ waits for me on the other side
of this life, But I, I wanna know why I'm alive
Cause I wonder from the path so far
Would it be easier, easier to be where you are

And this time I don't have an answer
But don't think that I haven't tried
I still have the heart of a seeker
But I need the faith of a child
I need the faith of a child

I wanna know what the truth is
and I don't care if its costly
I know there must be a reason
even if it cannot be known by me

And this time I don't have an answer
But don't think that I haven't tried
I still have the heart of a seeker
But I need the faith of a child

I need the faith of a child

so its about this girl

I don't even know what to say man. I'm at a loss, we were brothers for two years, now you're like a distant second cousin, whom i might see at family banquets. You aren't around. You have a busy schedule as do i. I have to keep my grades up cause its one of the two places i see you, in meetings that is. meetings is that were brothers are supposed to meet? i don't think so...i remember that i would be so excited at evening times cause me you and our other brother who has left us for another school who is getting freakin' married...just simply hangin' with you was something that got me through last year, from my dealings with that whore of an ex, to some weird depression thing. you were there, but now where are you...with her...always...homework...club...her...what about that guy who took what he saw in you and did everything in his power to earn trust and friendship from you...and you from him...? where has it all gone? I'm tired. these first few weeks have sucked with out you to go on adventures and fight with. let alone just chill with...

thats all i got..

i sound like a little girl...

Pray Hard and Hold on to Jesus

Monday at 3:30

So yeah, Ive finished almost all of my homework for this weekend. I have a bit of reading to do for Reed and Williamson's classes tomorrow but other than that i am feeling rather accomplished for this week. I am uber excited about our meeting, i would tell you but you aren't a Kingsmen...well you are, but not you. We have a week until Rush week, and two weeks until Pledge week. WE are really picking everything up from now until the end of the semester. Heres a link to the Kingsmen website via Cascade. (it hasn't been updated since it was made...) But yeah im active and i am an officer this year. It is going to be great. I am learning things that apply to my major and i am finally loving school. Lets all hope this lasts as long as i am here right.

Pray Hard and Hold On to Jesus

My First Week

Good morning folks.
i haven't posted in about 10 days. But its understandable because i started school this week. i am now going to go through my schedule and you are going to have to deal with it. On Mondays and Thursdays i don't have to be up until Chapel which is nice, oh wait, i do have to get up. i have to work Cascade Facility Maintenance, but it is fun. My first class is yearbook, fun class but a lot of work. Then i have Personal Spiritual Development with Bill Hunt, this is going to be a great class, its going to teach us how to be spiritual...i guess. No its showing us how to grow in our spiritual lives as Christians. On Tuesdays and Fridays i have at 8am 20th Century European History with Dr. Williamson, its basically a WWII class, like 4 weeks of the origins of the war and the rest of the semester is spent studying WWII. Then i go to chapel and lunch then at 1pm i go to Zoology lecture class, it seems like an interesting class, some of it seems a bit like Environmental Science. then at 230 i have my second favorite class Gospel of John with Kevin Reed. it was the second day yesterday and i seriously already let enlightened. Oh and then on Wednesday i have an 8am PE class and then a 3 hour lab for Zoology. This seems like its going to be a great semester for me. I also think i am going to change my emphasis in my IDS to Bible Missions and History. Gah i don't know again i think this is the path in my life that God has lead me down. So i uh cried already this week and made another person cry at the same thing. I have been asked about my PERSEVERE bracelet that i wear and try to raise awareness for Neimann-Picks Disease. Ive had the honor of being able to Tell E'Trece's story about twice and i haven't be able make it through with out crying...oh well

heres the link to the Neimann-Picks Disease National Foundation

PERSEVERE...

Pray Hard and Hold On to Jesus

This one is for all the suckers who still believe in LOVE

Hey everybody I’ve got somethin’ to tell it's what I learned from relationship hell
Lust turns to disgust a heart of gold into rust a soft touch to a slap in the
face- it gets old it goes away

This one's for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one's for you.
This one’s for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one’s for you.
It never works but we keep tryin' like fools learning and breaking the rules
At first you're excited then you're less than delighted by the end you wish
they would drop dead it can't last, it's gone so fast

This one's for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one's for you
This one’s for all the suckers who still believe in love, this one’s for you...

CHEER UP?

kind of a downer day

i dont have much to say today. Hutch and i had one amazing adventure to the storage unit, but were then turned away by the coded door. We need to make a payment on the unit or we cant get our stuff its lame but i understand. I find myself alone a lot this week, even when i am surrounded by the people i love and admire most i still feel a bit alone, and i know its really the frenzy of the first week back for everyone and we are all crazy its just that i want so much more with stuff right now and i cant have it. im being very selfish and i know Gods perfect timing is what i need to hold on to but yeah. my friend is moving to a far off land i am so going to miss her, i wish i could have told her the things that ive wanted for so long but havent had the guts too. well here it is. YOURE FREAKING AMAZING, I WISH I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU EVERY SINGLE TIME I SAW YOU...yeah she leaves this week for a long time fare thee well i shall for ever cherish the times we spent in the elevator...good night

Pray Hard and Hold on to Jesus

The Cade....

There is something different about cascade this year. Ive been here 2 and a 1/2 days so far, but for some reason i feel different. I see all these new freshman, and old faces, i for some reason feel older. Much older. i have never really ever felt this way before. i am not sure how i feel about this. i know growing up is a part of life...is it my turn? there are many things that scare me about this. but then again they are so extremely exciting. i don't know. 300 is playing behind me. yeah. there are so many faces that make me happy to be back here. and yet there are a few that tear my heart apart. if you are one of those people im sorry for whatever it is that ive done, but im really not to blame here. thats all im going to say. this year is going to be interesting. I just opened a package of Wonka Bottle Caps, i always forget that i love them: i think thats how i feel about the cade. i always forget that i love this place more than i think i do. its still early and 300 is on. so peace out for now

Pray hard and Hold on to Jesus

Seprated at Birth

His name is travis,
he has many alias' such as The Thum, T-Rav, Trav, those are just a few. He is the guy you go to when you need to know something about The Jurassic Period...actually you could ask him about any of those periods he'll hook you up with some random knowledge and he will even tell you about how we once ran around and acted as dinosaurs in elementary school at that place we have come to love Shasta. Since 1st grade this guy has been by my side. Hes my best friend. We've made some kick a movies and some pretty dumb ones, he loves Godzilla and his dog max ( coolest dog ever) this is him!

Michael Savage gets it...

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

Today is...

the final day i am at the church until i come back for Thanksgiving. Looking back at this summer it has had so many "up" days i cant really remember any "downers". Ive spent many days with close good friends, i have to say in your face Brian Simmons the friends i had in high school and i are still as close as ever. Death will be the only thing could possibly end this friendship. I for the last month have almost been dreading going back to the Cade, different reasons, but after attending the elders meeting this last Tuesday, i realized that any fears or apprehensions ive had are just things that will try and keep me off my walk to my ultimate goal...finishing the race. i find this passage in the bible so cool. Acts 20:24 says "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." this life i have chosen well i guess our Father has chosen is so exciting and scary at the same time...i dont know im kinda rambling. This summer has been great being able to work with the youth and going to Tuba and to SBC are allows super huge blessings for me, this race im on is a lonely one right now, but He continues to strengthen me and i feel it at the most perfect of times...

thats all i got God's timing is perfect. His path for me is Perfect...but still i ask for more..im an idiot

Pray hard and Hold on to Jesus